Year 2011 Day 145 May 25: Down the Path of Self Acceptance

Day 145 Date: Wednesday May 25, 2011 

Beginning Comments:

            I first want to apologize to anyone who came to the Mandolin Café last night and did not find me there.

            Yesterday, I had a back flare-up and had to cancel.

            This is not something I like to do, but , unfortunately, life happens.

            Now,  a few days ago Netflix sent me a DVD which had been at the bottom of the list.

           They did so because all the rest of my choices were about a single long running TV series, and they did not want to send me the DVD out of sequence.

            The DVD I received was “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.

            I was about to send it back unwatched but then I thought “What the Hay” (pun intended) and browsed it.

            A good deal was a documentary on how people (including Dr. Wayne Dyer) and others who I did not know but suspect were in the consciousness field healed their life.

            I am not much documentaries and fast forwarded through much of the yak, but does not mean I did not get something out of the film.

            This was something Louise Hay (who was also on the film) said, and I will paraphrase:

            You can only go so far in creating your reality as long as you do not like yourself.

          Now, I have been hearing variations on that theme for decades, but for some reason, this time the words made sense.

            I was intrigued enough to download a couple of ebooks from Louise Hay and read them.

            Sometime between then and now the data has given me an ‘aha!’ experience.

            Now, this aha!  is not about anything I have not known before intellectually, but, again, my struggle has been how to implement.

            My realization, frankly, is that I was still living my life on what my first teacher, a psychologist from St. Paul called the “Deferred Payment Plan.”

            The deferred payment plan is a mindset which keeps people stuck as long as they keep it, for it says “I will be happy when…”

            Though this idea may seem simplistic, it is more complex than one can imagine.

            Except for rare occasions in our lives, no matter what our life situations, most of us live with challenges which keep our existence from being “perfect” whatever that is.

            My experience is, over the years, that if we are growing, the bar on what perfect is continues to rise; this issue can leave us in a permanent level of dissatisfaction that can run our lives, if we let it.

            So the non Louise Hays of the world (like myself – and Louise Hay at times in her life) make the mistake of focusing on what’s wrong, and very often ignore what’s right.  And where we cannot create “perfect” is where we do not like ourselves.

            Now how many human potential people have you heard say the same thing, probably in other words? 

            If you are anything like me, lots of them.

            For the last few days, however, I have decided to change my mindset and decide that I don’t have to have a perfect life to be happy.

            If I wait until that happens, I could possibly go through ten more lifetimes. 

            But how does one do this? 

            That is the question I have wrestled with for years. 

            It looks great on paper, but can be difficult to put into action.

            For me, it has been deciding to allow my present physical reality – with all its positives and negatives to be what it is but shift my internal reality to accepting it (and myself) rather than fighting with it  (or myself).

            As I read the Louise Hay books, I also have to agree with her that being at peace with self, of letting go of old angers resentments and judgments is a powerful tool in learning how to change one’s reality.

            But it is more than that.  As one simply lets reality be what it is some odd things have happened.

            Every problem that I currently have seems to have less emotional charge to them, and I find myself being more thankful than usual for the positive people and things in my reality.

            This does involve some work, a different kind of affirmation which works not with what is outside but what is inside.

            One of things I have done is create Power Point slides with affirmations and pictures that make sense to me, and then converted them to JPEG photos that are now my screensaver on my computer.

            Other than one slide which about increasing income, they are all internal affirmations such as “I have respect for myself and wholly approve of who I am”

            And “I let go of the past with caring and forgiveness”.

            Even though I consider myself a conscious person, letting go of the past has been very difficult for me.

            I am not going to add a bunch more affirmations to this message, as I am no Louise Hay. 

            Some of her books have some powerful ones - much better than I can come up with.

            Now, was this change because of Louise Hay?  Not likely, though her books were definitely a piece of the puzzle. 

            My sense is that my dreams and adventures lately have lead me to reading her book, and that if I had read her book even a year ago, they would not have made the sense they do to me now.

            At this time, for whatever reason, I have touched a place which can be content with the present, warts and all without needing anything more.

            At the same time I also feel an excitement that in doing this, my physical reality can become something more wonderful, in whatever timing it takes.

            How long that takes, and what that may look like, also does not seem to matter.   

Beginning Time:  MDT 5/25/2011 11:51:14 AM Location: Loveland, Co

Energy Shift:

"Ashunayetya!

            I find myself in the air city of Focus 15 – no time no space – at some kind of party.  Helium balloons and confetti drift in the air, and I sense the room is filled with friends, though I cannot see them.

          Benjamin, in his human form, approaches with a champagne glass in his hand.

            “Do not fault yourself that it has taken so long for you to touch that place in self, for it is a difficult place to touch – much more difficult than many that touch it more easily realize.

            And do not despair if life and its challenges throw you off track from time to time.

            That is the nature of life.

            The more you can walk the path of acceptance and self love, however, the more you will enjoy rather than dislike the challenges that come your way.

            It is too bad that no one can really teach another how to walk that path – it is a place which each will find in their own way and in their own time.

            In the meantime, those who have touched it can only send out signposts and wish the best for all who want to walk there.”

            I find a champagne glass in my hand.

            I raise it to toast and find myself clinking with a hundred or more glasses hanging in midair. 

            Even Benjamin has vanished.

            As the glasses dematerialize, so do the balloons, confetti, and the party energy.

            What is left is a deep sense of peace which I bask in before returning to normal consciousness.

Ashunayetya!

                     Dori"

Ending Time:   MDT 12:00:18 P.M.

Ending Comments:  

            That was a fun adventure!

Copyright © 2011, Dori Alsop Paden, All rights reserved.

 

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